Recently I was spending some time in meditation. I was pondering the type of man I would want my daughter to one day marry. I see so many wonderful young ladies often “settle” for the first guy that gives them attention. In some cases the two of them are able to have a great marriage and a fulfilled life. But for every success story, there are so many more who are in a situation where they are unhappy, unfulfilled, and dissatisfied with their spouse.
I am reminded of Proverbs 15:22 which states, “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.” I came to realize the need to seek counsel from other men of faith who have spent much time in prayer in regards to the type of man their daughters will one day marry.
As I began to receive these words of wisdom from fellow fathers I thought it might be nice to share some of their words of affirmation and prayers of hope. I am sharing these words from the heart of fathers for a few reasons.
- To allow all the unmarried daughters in the world to consider the type of man a group of fathers pray and hope they will seek out. I urge and encourage you to begin spending time in deep consideration the type of man you want to spend the rest of your life beside.
- To allow all the single men in the world to consider the type of man they need to be in order to be pleasing to their future spouse and her family. Far too often young “men” are not being taught and trained to be just that, “men.” Please take time to do a self evaluation and consider these following thoughts to see how you are doing in various areas.
- To the rest of us – I hope the following words are a form of edification and encouragement. In a world which is quickly spiraling further and further away from Biblical truth and relevancy, it is encouraging to see there are still families who are actively living and seeking to be a family of faith (Joshua 24:16).
The following statements are from a group of godly men, husbands, and father’s in which I have the privledge to serve beside at the Keller church of Christ (www.kellercofc.org).
My wish for my daughter;
“Simply a Godly man. One who is a Christian (I’ll not support nor attend her wedding if she marries non-Christian man), one who aspires to have the qualifications of at least a Deacon as this covers lots of bases. One who is committed to walk his whole life with God and to carry his family along the same journey. As one of my daughters said in frustration one day, “Dad I want a guy just like you only younger and cuter!” How does one top that?”
“First and foremost, I want my daughter to marry a man who will walk with her on her journey to heaven, not someone who just “goes to church” or worse yet, gets in the way of her going to church, but someone who is actively working for the Lord. He should always treat her with respect and kindness and never take her for granted. He should be a man who always strives to do what’s right, even if (or especially if) doing what’s right isn’t easy.”
“I want my daughters to marry men that treat them with dignity and respect. I want them to be Christian men who will help my daughters and their families lead a good life, are an example to others, love my daughters as Christ loves the church and help them get to heaven. And I will be sure and tell them the very same thing my father-in-law told me. “Love my daughter with all your heart and treat her well, but if you ever lay a hand on her in anger and hit her, I will find you and you will never hit another person for the rest of your short life. Then he added, “We’ve been hunting together and you know how well I can shoot, and you can’t run that fast, so don’t make me come after you!” Trust me, that sticks with you! Any man that wants to marry one of my daughters better have good manners, show us the respect we deserve, not lazy, willing to help with stuff like washing dishes and setting the table, and be willing to be a part of our entire family and do stuff with us. Most of all, they need to love my daughters more than anything or anyone else. If they are happy, then we will be happy.”
“I want my daughters to first marry a Christian. I have been praying for her husband since she was born that he would be a Godly man with patience and that he would help continue to lead her down the straight and narrow path. I have prayed that he would be honest in his dealings with others and have the integrity to be able to stand against satan and all who try to destroy the “body of Christ”. He would also have ability to lead her and their family, as well lead others to Christ.”
“First and foremost, his identity would be in Christ, a whole person with or without marriage, a servant, self-less, loving his wife more than anything, second to God. A family man, who considers relationships to be of utmost importance, hospitable, patient, kind, gentle, lover of children, and respecter of the elderly. An optimist, not a complainer, ready to take on the disappointments in life. A provider and hard worker. A man who recognizes that he is not perfect, grows his strengths and matures in his weaknesses – Humble. What a list! We can only make such a list because we strive to attain these qualities in our own lives BECAUSE OF CHRIST!”
“The man I want my daughter to marry is first of all a man of God. He has already made the decision that he and his family will follow in the steps of Jesus. His walk with Jesus affects his whole life, from his speech, to the kind of entertainment he watches and listens to, to the way he spends his money. He respects my daughter as a partner, and leans on her strengths as much as he supports and protects her. If he is wise, he will learn what is actually worth arguing about and what to just let go (hint, mostly just let it go). As he becomes wiser, he learns to appreciate the internal qualities that make her special, the kind of things that don’t fade away when brown hair is replaced by gray and wrinkles start appearing on her face. He is learning the difference between being the boss and being a leader. Finally, he loves my daughter enough to hold her accountable and encourage her in her own walk with God.”
“These are the qualities i thought of for who would marry my daughters: Member of the church, Respectful, Caring, Puts her needs first before his, Good listener, Polite, Good manners, Likes to hunt and fish, Wants to have kids.”
“I pray that my daughter would find a “Christian” young man when she decides to Marry, someone who already has a relationship with God and that they together would continue to grow as a Christian family. I would like to stress “Christian” to both male and female when finding the right person to marry, if you married outside of the Church you could always hope to convert but never be assured that this would be the case and could be a challenge that might not ever happen. Marriage is a Partnership for life and it takes two committed parties to make it work, I expect the man to be the leader of his household to have the utmost highest of Moral Values, Honor and Integrity as a person. I would expect my Daughter to always be treated with Greatest of Respect by her husband and to always be Honored and Defended as any husband should. I would also expect my daughter to have the same core values and expectations to Respect, Honor and Defend her husband as any wife should. When both the Husband and Wife are committed to God and to each other this is a strong foundation to have a marriage built upon and that is what I would hope for my daughter.”
“The type of man I want my daughters to marry would be a Christian who deeply loves God and firmly believes in His son Jesus as his Savior. A gentleman, who respects women as his equal who should be treated with courtesy, kindness and respect. A good listener, who is also a good conversationalist. Humble, strong in faith, loving, kind and loves children and dogs.”
“In considering the type of man I want my daughter to marry I first must say that this is the type of thing that her mother and I have thought about since we discovered that we were having a daughter. We have been praying for her husband and his parents for many years. That being said, I must say that the thought of my daughter dating is a frightening proposition. One because I know of the broken hearts that are to come as she searches for ‘the one’. The other frightening consideration is that in the dating process in search of a mate, that she may run across those who don’t respect her, share her/our values, or have a love for God. My daughter is not an object, she is a person with thoughts and feelings beautiful on the outside, even more so on the inside. She is an emotional being, sometimes beyond my ability to understand. That being said, that trait is not to be exploited to take advantage of her. Again she is a person, not an object to play with. I want my daughter to marry a man that is on fire for God. I want her to marry a man that will stand up for right and not back down. I want my daughter to marry a man that is respectful to her but also to others. I want my daughter to marry a man that can admit and sometimes laugh at his own mistakes. Why is all of this so important? In a mate my daughter can find the one who not only is responsible for her care for the rest of her life on earth, but in a mate my daughter will be partnered with someone that should help her to get to heaven during the 60+ years she has left on her wedding day. If her mate fails in that endeavor the consequences are eternal.”
Praise God for men of faith who are fervently praying and encouraging their daughters to seek the Lord and all His ways! May all our daughters learn to rely on God to bring them a man who will walk with them hand in hand on the path of righteousness.
May God bless each of you richly.